Tinkle of good health

It has been four weeks since the surgery. In two days time, it will be back to the grind-stone. Only difference is, I have learnt a very expensive lesson not to push myself to the limit. I look forward to seeing my students and colleagues again. It has been blissful, staying at home or going out at my whim and fancy. I thank God for my swift recovery, and in many ways, I feel healthier than before. I count my blessing over something most people take for granted - the ability to pass urine easily.

I feel like I have been given a new lease of life. I have enjoyed each day at home, devoting my time entirely to myself, the children and KH.

NEW BEGINNING

It is the start of 2016. My heart had been full of expectations of a fresh start after a difficult year. What I  did not expect was a complete melt down on the very last day of 2015. I had always felt that I had put up a good front, that is, until yesterday. 

It was a relatively small problem that triggered the breakdown - just a bad personal teaching time table. At first I treated it as something that should not matter to a teacher, especially one who was always set to give her best. However, I did not realize it had mattered so much because I could not even complete my personal file, a menial task. To cut a horrid story short, I drove home in tears. It was the first time in my career that I couldn't cope with school work to this extent.

Throughout last year, I was juggling tasks which even the principal had described as unfair, and the time table was the last straw. To be fair, she has always been very appreciative and considerate. During the drive home, I realized the reason for the melt down - it was the first new year without Pa. The hectic school and home activities throughout 2015 had kept me from dwelling on it. In fact, my young colleagues had saluted me for being so strong, not knowing that I was still raw with emotions and I couldn't even discuss it.

It was the first mooncake festival, winter solstice, Christmas, Yi Khing getting straight A's (without Pa calling to ask), Jean's first job, Lin wanting to change jobs, Wan and Chien doing well in their studies. I suppose we will all continue to cope without him in our own ways. Our elders advise us that we will become stronger with each storm. I will continue to keep him in a special corner of my heart.

Coincidentally, I had spent days searching for a misplaced envelope containing momentoes  of Pa's demise. KH found it and gave it to me early yesterday morning, the start of an emotional day. I had been upset with myself for misplacing it.

With prayer filled hopes that 2016 will bring much joy and good health to everyone, life will go on. We celebrate being alive, and with it, brings the increased capacity to embrace everything that comes our way. Wishing that everyone will have a happy and fulfilling year ahead.