My sister Sean, 

More Positive vs Less Negative

I just watched a YouTube short just now on life improvement - whether more positive thinking is more important or less negative thinking. Conclusion given is more positive is always good, but less negative is essential. How true, I wish I had known this earlier...but all in its own good time.

I had gotten into the habit of giving excuses for doing something, or rather, not to do it when it comes to writing blogs. Before I know it, it has been two years since the recent one. Less negatives, please. This blog has been a source of joy for me, since the days in MGS.

On 3rd August Saturday, we went to the Vietnamese restaurant, Vinh City (sic) in Sungai Wang Plaza. Sg Wang in a rather seedy part of town, was once my hangout place with Khong and my friends, while in university. Pavilion, Fahrenheit were non existent then. KL Plaza and Lot 10 came later. It is a special place for me because Jean had brought me there last month, and we had a great bonding time after such a long time apart. She feels it is a hidden gem - good home cooked Vietnamese food at reasonable prices. I really wanted the others to try it, and we finally made it, without Jean. It will always carry special memories for me with Jean, though.

We picked Wan from her workplace. It was a half day work, and she will quit on 16th August. Since her return from Russia early February this year, she had worked in Klinik Tan & Mano, before joining this company, handling customer service. I was still in a celebratory mood, because the day before, she had successfully applied for housemanship. The day before, I had picked her from her workplace opposite Intermark at 11.30 a.m., and we reached a cyber cafe in Taman Nirwana a few minutes before 12 p.m. Within the first minute, HKL was unavailable. Wan opted for Penang General Hospital. By 12.07 p.m., we were out from the dark, dingy cafe, half filled with rowdy youths, most of them playing computer games. In the midst of applying (with Wan doing everything), I remember feeling disappointed with these youth spending the best time of their lives there. They should be learning Economics with me, sigh.

Wan and Chien just left for work. Kok Hong and I will be going out for breakfast before I leave him at the LRT station. He is still without a car, as we are still waiting for the insurance pay out for the car he totalled on May 13. With the Grace of God, he was totally unhurt, except for a minor cut on his head.

Time waits for none. Since the last blog, so much had happened. Everything has become a flurry of activities, and nothing to show for it, except for photographs in my handphone. At this point, I choose to stop dwelling on the negatives. To give credit to myself, I had successfully stopped "going to the dark places", as Jean used to say, a few years ago. However, old habits die hard, it is so easy to relapse. My constant reminder is I have been blessed with family and friends who are supportive and always encouraging. With this, I move forward and onward. The best is yet to come.  

The Owls

I was eight when my paternal grandfather died.    

I remember him as a kindly, respected gentleman. He was quite enterprising, buying things from suppliers, even from Johor Bharu and Kuala Lumpur, and selling them in our shophouse. We had a van delivering things to small businesses in various towns in Kelantan. The merchandise ranged from fashionable scarves and cosmetics, to rubber tapping knives and rubber boots. At one point, we even made and bottled our own "Brilliantine", men's hair oil.

We lived in a rent-controlled double storey shophouse in Kota Bharu, which was also a halfway shelter for my older cousins studying in secondary schools nearby. They helped my father in the shop downstairs, and the girls often helped my mother in the kitchen. My grandfather lived nearby in Kampung Cina. We led a routine life then. Lunch was ready for everyone, including the workers, at 11 a.m., dinner at 5 p.m. After lunch, the younger grandchildren would queue to receive our 'snack' money from my grandfather. We would then head to the grocery shops on the same row.

Everyone seemed to be busy each day, but there came a day when we children were all given stern reminders to make as little noise as possible. My grandfather had been ailing for sometime, and the air  became sombre. Everyone seemed to be whispering all the time. Death seemed to be a dreadful phenomenon, something to be feared and avoided, if possible. 

Then came a time when an owl was frequently spotted on the roof nearby. I remember my cousins chasing it away, as owls were considered an omen of death. Do owls actually have a sense of imminent death? 

My grandfather passed away peacefully weeks later, surrounded by his family. I remember being asked by an old aunt why I did not weep. How could I explain to her that death was just a transition, that my grandfather was free from pain of his illness? I just felt immense relief then.

Coincidentally, today is the fifth anniversary of my mother-in-law. She was with us in our present home when she passed on. She had needed constant medical care, and the same feeling of moroseness was heavy at home. A  week before her passing, I was feeling very down-hearted, and went to my balcony outside my bedroom for fresh air. It was past midnight, and I was taking deep breaths when I realised there was a dark form just feet away on the roof. It turned out to be a big owl when it flapped its wings and flew away.

I am now at the same spot typing these words. We have converted the balcony into my office. Is the similarity between these two events involving owls such a coincidence, one five years ago and the other fifty years ago? 

I suppose the universe has its own patterns of alignment, which is beyond our understanding. I pay tribute to our ancestors, who have paved the way for us. 

Celebrations, ceteris paribus

Since the announcement of Covid-19 SOP relaxations effective 1st May 2022, life has picked up its pace. I feel like the two years of slumber has helped us gear up for this day. It is heart-warming to see celebrations returning in full force everywhere. 

Indeed, the two years of lockdown have caused a loss, in terms of income and development to many. In my case, I feel truly blessed to be retired with a pension, which has afforded me to turn inwards instead, for much soul exploration. 

On 26th June 2022, there was a high tea by MGS in Armada Hotel to celebrate Puan Kalsom's retirement, followed by a wedding dinner for Vivian and Xin Zhe at Jade Restaurant, OUG. 

I felt a little overwhelmed by the "downpour of events" maybe due to the long isolation, and chose to just drop by the high tea with Kok Hong. Upon arrival, I felt  a tinge of regret of my own reticent nature, when I met my dear old friends, Som, Srrifa, Noorliza, Zaidah, Miss Lim, Eric and Su Ling, Tamindey, Nava, Puan Lim and Tang, Faridah, Mazinah, Hazlina, Siti Rosidah, to name a few. There were many hugs amidst tears of joy (everyone threw caution to the wind). We had worked so hard together and supported each other through thick and thin.  The eleven years after leaving MGS just melted away.

                                                                            Som's retirement 

                                                           

                                                                Feeling blissful with Kok Hong

Economic students learn the term "ceteris paribus" during the first few lessons. It was the first Latin phrase to me, introduced by the late Puan Hasmah, my Form 6 Economics teacher in 1981. I can still recall her gentle voice - "... dengan andaian semua faktor lain tidak berubah" or "...with the assumption that all other factors remain unchanged". This phrase is essential to enable full focus on the subject matter studied, by putting all other factors on hold.

I have often pondered about this phrase, when faced with difficult decisions, especially when my mind gets cluttered by too many issues. Applying this concept has helped me to identify and focus on the most important matter. Unfortunately, in life, more often than not, other factors cannot be brushed aside so easily. 

The most important lesson from this never ending pandemic is the fragility of life and how we should never to take things for granted. Any event, big or small, has become a huge achievement.

It was such an honour for us to attend the wedding banquet. Kok Hong and I shared the table with Siew Lay, Lei Kim, Choon Lian, Soo Hoon, Lay Neo, Bee Fong, Puan Chong and Hong Eng. The food was first class, the live entertainment was fabulous, and the companionship brings to mind the true meaning of celebration. The fact that we were actually present at such a momentous event felt unreal to me. We thank the Tuang family, especially Mary, for including us in their joy.  

                                                       Vivian and Xin Zhe's wedding banquet

Wishing a very happy beginning to Kalsom as a retiree, and our young couple Vivian and Xin Zhe as they  embark on their life together as husband and wife.

Yesterday, 8th July 2022, Siew Lay, Mary and I had lunch together at Estate Coffeehouse, Taman Midah. As Mary put it so aptly in Facebook, it was "A happy day at a happy place with happy companions". The event helped us vent our joy from the wedding, plan our Turkiye trip, celebrate Mary's belated birthday, plan future outings, recap the past, share essential medical tips, among other things. In short, this was truly a girls' day out, as Lin labels it. I feel so glad Siew Lay made it happen. 

                                                     Feeling blissful with Siew Lay and Mary

Time and tide waits for none. Truly, the present is present enough.

Time and Timing

 20th May 2022

I had talked with Mary about having a lunch of charcoal-boiled soup together since Chinese New Year 2021. It was difficult to fix a time, despite both of us being fully retired. We have always preferred to keep events spontaneous. However, charcoal-boiled soup requires time.

This brings to mind Mr Shah, my 2009 Financial Planning lecturer's question to the class - "Which is more important in investment planning - time or timing?" The one year course was sponsored by Citigroup, and there were sixteen teachers attending. His question on how to retire comfortably triggered a heated discussion among us.

Upon reflection, aren't most things in life about time and/or timing? 

The timing of our cooking session determined our friends who could come over - it was an overnight decision for my retired buddies Mary, Siew Lay, Soo Hoon and Bee Ling. Because of the ridiculously short notice, we agreed to keep it a come with tangan dan perut kosong lunch. That was the most serious  part of the plan to keep the event stress free for everyone.      

Charcoal-boiled soup requires time, and the longer the cooking time, the better. To fill the gap, we had poached Macao chicken and Choon Lian's yam khaubak, that I had been saving for the occasion. It was certainly a lot of fun to have food for the soul, while playing with fire with good friends. We ate and chatted till late afternoon.

Although we could not have more friends joining us, I feel so thankful to have this event on my calendar of life. By the way, Mr Shah leaned towards time rather than timing for retirement wealth. 

Happy Reunion

Yesterday was such a wonderful day of reunion with Peter and Penny Yap. I am so thankful Yi Tong made this happen. We talked about this the last time bumped into each other during the pandemic.

Lin has been back for ten days to renew her passport, as well as to celebrate her father's 66th birthday. It is her first 回娘家 after January 2020. Being Lin, every moment back to her mother's home is to be seized and treasured. She will be returning to Dubai this evening.

We had lunch at Hakka Restaurant, which is known for its good food and ambience. The last time we had lunch together, Lin and Tong had just finished their education in MGSKL. Both of them have established their career since then, and Chien has also joined their league recently. At the table, the image of them in their turquoise pinafores reminded me how the years have slipped past.

I wish we had been closer all these years. Penny and Peter have imparted great family values to Tong and Yang, who is now lecturing in Melbourne. Penny is the epitome of a great mother - devoted and wise. I wish I had recorded our conversation for myself and other mothers to reflect upon. Among her lessons to her children:

*    Everything must be based on truth. 

You must never be afraid to share details of your daily dealings with your family. If something has to be concealed or distorted, it should serve as a warning. 

*    Family always comes first.

All important decisions should bring happiness to the family.

*    Listen to your heart.

The capacity of the heart is wider than the head. She has always encouraged them to pursue their passions and achieve their ambitions. 

*    Always be sincere.

Do something because you want to, not because you have to.

We agreed that life can be so unpredictable, and children must learn how to live life well. I learnt many things from her during the lunch. She has never wavered in  kindness and generosity, over the years I have known her.  

Special thanks to Peter, Penny and Tong for a wonderful day.

Dubai Reunion

2022 began with a bang. Khing had returned home on 4th December 2021 for a month after almost two years of lockdowns. 

After she left for Singapore, Lin called numerous times to ask KH and I to visit. As soon as we received news that Khing was back safely in the campus, discussions for Wan and I to go to Dubai started in earnest. KH and Chien were all for it, though both of them were tied down with work; Jean was at Ma's place. We discussed the worst possibilities - I dreaded flying alone, there were endless tests and SOPs, and the looming fear of actually contracting Covid. We had all been cautious throughout the two years of pandemic, and this trip could wipe out our record totally. That evening after beef noodles dinner, Lin called, and I threw caution to the wind, literally. 

With fervent prayers, Chien helped us book Emirates flight tickets for myself from KLIA, and Wan from Moscow. The time of our arrival was to coincide, so that we could travel to Pullman Hotel together. Incidentally, Michele had been down with cough and flu, and four of Wan's friends were already tested positive in Kursk. It still came down to PCR test results for both of us to board our planes. I remember praying and leaving everything to God as to whether I would get to see my girls and new son-in-law. The results were out on the travel day itself. Wan boarded the train to Moscow an hour after receiving the results. Her five hour flight would land at DXB an hour after my 7 hour flight. We had no way to contact each other during the flights. We were to meet at Starbucks, if we couldn't contact each other.

12 January 2022 

We both landed as scheduled, at 4.45 a.m. for me, and Wan at 6.15 a.m. I waited for her at her baggage collection point. She looked tired but very happy after the long and grimy train ride and flight.

  

                                                                     Starbucks DXB 

After sharing our coffee at Starbucks, we collected Michele's wine from an outlet and took a taxi to Pullman Hotel, Jumeirah Lake. It was my second stay there, but the first visit to Dubai for Wan. It was exciting to see Dubai through her eyes. Lin was totally right, we had to make things happen ourselves. The hotel was comfortable, and the staff very warm and friendly. After freshening up, we went to Lin's apartment to meet both of them, and little Drake and Coco. It had been two long years, and no words can describe how I felt then.

                                                                    Brunch at Friends' Avenue

                                                           Dinner at Mythos Kouzina & Grill

13 January 2022

                                                                Sunrise at JLT Waterfront

                                            

                                                                Brunch at Friends' Avenue

                                                                        Wan and Little Coco

14 January 2022

In the afternoon, Wan and I took the train to Dubai Mall. We were glad we had listened to Michele and downloaded its app. Both he and Lin were working at home that day. Spent the day shopping, watching "House of Gucci" at Reel Cinema, had dinner at Din Tai Fung while watching fountain show. 

                                                          Midnight At The Top, Burj Khalifa

We managed to catch one of the last trains back to the hotel. It was past midnight, but we felt safe in Dubai. 

15 January 2022

Wan and I took the tram to Marina Bay. After a walk at the beach and shopping, we had lunch at 5 Guys.

Had dinner at an outdoor restaurant, Palm Spring, near Lin and Michele's new home; followed by chocolate desserts at The Pointe.

16 January 2022

Saw rain for the first time in Dubai. Wan's symptoms had worsened at night. We had PCR tests done at the apartment - Wan was tested Covid-positive the following day. After lunch, the weather forecast was good, and we decided to proceed to Dubai desert. Fantastic time with Lin and Michele's friends. Dinner was at a food truck nearby with Dario, Devdas and wife Amy.

17 January 2022

We spent a quiet day at the apartment with Coco and Drake, while Lin and Michele went to settle their new home documents. It was good to spend time just talking with Wan. Wan's positive PCR test had shaken all of us, and we had a heart to heart talk. It was a hard decision for us, but we agreed I was to proceed home, while Wan was to stay in another hotel nearby. We had dinner at a Japanese restaurant at W hotel with Nidha.  

18 January 2022

Lin arranged for a taxi to send me to the airport at 5 a.m. It was heartbreaking to leave Dubai with all the uncertainties. The flight back was uneventful, except for the fact that the plane was filled with young children again. It must had been the spillover effects of the Christmas and New Year holiday goers, with the young parents bringing their children to see grandparents after a long separation. 

Reached KLIA at 7.20 p.m. KLIA had a dismal and eerie air; total opposite of DBX, with its vibrant energy of excitement. Everyone from the plane immediately quietened and marched through every check-point, determined to live the airport. It became chaotic at the point where we had to download the mySejahtera app and do the PCR tests. The young Malay officer was unable to handle the angry crowd. At one point, he crouched with his hands over his ears, muttering to himself. When he stood up, he was again barraged by the crowd, with another group of travellers arriving. I was very lucky to have the Home Surveillance Order page on my app, and he ushered me out behind him.

Chien was at the airport with KH. I had forgotten to ask her to stay at home, as I planned to self-isolate myself because I had also developed the same symptoms. There is nothing like home. It was such a warm feeling to know that we live in such an exciting world, yet we have a sweet sanctuary to return to. The MOH officer called 3 days later to inform that I was also tested positive. Chien and KH later had the same symptoms, scratchy throat, cough and mild fever for a few days. 

It was a quiet Chinese New Year, especially for me, as I wanted to avoid the possibility of passing the virus to the elderly and the young children. It was a wonderful time of respite and reflection. Special thanks to Lin and Michele for making the trip possible.

                                                                        Burj Al Arab

Wan got a bonus stay for five days before returning to Russia. More importantly, she had extra bonding time with Sis Lin and new brother-in-law Michele. Things happen for a reason indeed.