For the love of a school

Nestled in the green lungs of the city, the colonial main building rises majestically. Within it, the inhabitants go around, busy with their own schedules. I always wondered how many realise that it is only a temporary sanctuary  for all. If I could turn back the clock, I would treasure each moment I had there even more. I would take deeper breaths of the fresh air and keep it in my lungs. Like what  I told my girls during the farewell speech, as we breathe in the MGS air, the MGS blood flows in our veins.

As an outsider, I now look at its citizens with such envy and longing, knowing that I had thrown away this precious right by signing the transfer forms. Again, look at the power of the pen. It is at the moment of our decision that our destiny is set (Anthony Robbins).

Twenty one years. They are not enough for me, I want more of it - the right to walk along the corridors, mingle with the girls and colleagues, and to breathe in air like champagne. How can it be possible that the years had flown by without me noticing? Why were there complaints about the hard work and the long hours? Looking back, I spent my youth there, and yet, it has also given back so much more to me.  

I have learnt the power of giving and sharing of knowledge and kindness, and the graciousness of receiving; the importance of kindling and maintaining warm relationships and my ability to contribute to a cause I hold so dear in my heart. I have been witness to its beauty and splendour, and the beauty of its inhabitants.

If I could, I would shout out loud to everyone there: Treasure the present moment you are here, it won't last. It is your second home for too brief a spell.

   

Farewell to MGS

I thought the surgery was the worst possible thing that could happen this year (despite the fact that it made me healthier in all aspects).

Yesterday was one of the most painful days in my life. The worst part is knowing that this time I had heroically chosen to leave the MGS, my second home, thinking that going to another all-girls' school on promotion is a "calling" and it would be better in every aspects, especially the workload. I had not expected to go to sleep feeling very sad, and waking up feeling worse.

The parting ceremony was such a sad one. MGS once again rose to the occasion, even with such short notice. Writing the speech was hard, delivering it was a feat. From the podium, I could see the girls' faces, and many of my 5 Accounts girls and dear friends were openly crying. I am sure the audience were held in suspense as to whether I could finish giving it. KH, Lin and Jean were also there. Later Gawery told me that she felt touched to see KH crying, and I told her that I myself had never seen him cry.

After the surgery, Jean and Lin told me that now they know how much he loves me. I have often doubted it myself. Yesterday, it was confirmed.

Going back on track, I feel so grateful to everyone in the school for recognising my contributions and putting in so much efforts to make the occasion a memorable one for Puan Nazihah and me. I am so grateful to Encik Latiff, the UAL Senior Manager for appearing just to hand me a gift. My girls, especially the
4SS1, 4 Accounts and 5 Accounts girls were such darlings.

In the midst of packing and tying up loose ends, I recalled Ma's saying about how difficult it is to build a house, and yet how easy it is to demolish it. How true, and yet I had thrown away this part of my life with my own hands when I signed the transfer form.    

During the last 20 minutes, I entered 5 Accounts to bid them farewell. That was when all initial doubts I had about leaving came flooding back. At one point, someone asked how I could had chosen to leave, and I agreed that I was wrong to them. I realised that these girls, who had always been so careful with everyone's feelings, especially mine, did not dispute me then. I felt like I had actually given away one of my children. After lunch with my dear colleagues, Puan Lim told me that they feel it is okay for them to leave us, but we can never leave them. Why didn't I think of that retort in the class then?

I will miss everything in the school so - the little bungalow, so cosy, and the majestic main building, etc. Within it are all the inhabitants - the teachers, clerks,cleaners and students. Just like me, the school house them for a period of time, before they too move on. As we breathe in the MGS air, the MGS blood flow in our veins.

Sins of parents

Being a (good) parent is the toughest job in the world. Certain mistakes or even mere inadequacies have huge repercussions on our children.

I have seen the effects of my own weaknesses and errors of judgment on my children's emotions and behaviour. So the saying "What goes around comes around" is completely true, because my strengths are also reflected in them.

I see the hurt in the young ones' eyes from past mistakes of parents. It is impossible to undo the past, and it is futile to keep blaming ourselves. All we as parents can do is to make conscious efforts to prevent repeats of our mistakes. In order for our children to thrive and grow, we have the huge obligation of creating and maintaining the right environment.

Maybe like what I always preach to them, the best part about living is, as long as we have time and presence of mind, we always have a chance to better ourselves and things around us. To be thankful for what we have will bring greater happiness. Isn't that what life is all about? The search for happiness.

Twenty first anniversary as a mom

What a wonderful day today has been for me and Lin.

Has it really been twenty one years since I gave birth to her? It was a difficult pregnancy due to the fears I had after contracting chicken pox during the nineteenth week. Despite my cousin-in-law doctor's advice to look at the 99% chances that the baby would be healthy, being the pessimist I was, I was in constant turmoil. My mother said that seeing her jump when a nurse accidentally dropped something was the sweetest sight. Everyone had expected her to have a "defect", and my mother had feared a hearing disability. She had a wonderful complexion, and was very alert and bright. What a blessing and relief it had been for all of us.

Being thrust into the role as a mother was not easy for me to accept. I think I blundered more than most other moms. However, come to think of it, I have not improved that much by the time it came to being a mother the fifth time.

2-in-1 soup.

Tada ! :D

Pepperoni Pizza.

Free birthday sundae *YUM*

Some waiter took a picture for us :D

Bright, energetic, vibrant and cheerful, yet Lin can also be so naive and moody. What a turbulent road it has been for both her parents and her. However, I choose to stop worrying and to look forward to a happy future for her. Happy 21st birthday, Lin!